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The Prosecution of Steven Saylor

Bjørn Stærk, February 2008

Murder! Rape! Conspiracy! Torture! Dreadful crimes that disgust all of us. And yet there are some people - we all know it - who not only like to daydream about such horrors, but have set out to document their fantasies, in lurid detail, by putting them down on paper.

Yes, my fellow citizens, again I stand before you with the unpleasant task of accusing one among us of having committed novels. The last time I spoke to you, the crimes were serious enough: Satire, frivolity and escapism. Today they are even worse. I am speaking of novels about crime itself. Fantasies of depravity, from which our young can learn how to commit - and get away with! - crimes that should be beyond the imagination of any decent person.

It is with deep regret that I have taken upon myself the shameful task of exposing the criminal before us, for by doing so I must say a few words about the nature of his writings, and I am no more eager to contemplate such deeds than you are. It is however my duty. Luckily I have never had an easier case before me. The evidence is massive. After I have presented it, not a single one of you will doubt that Steven Saylor has committed the novels he is accused of.

Steven SaylorYes, that's him right there. Look at him! Who can fail to see the darkness that lurks behind that playful smile? Surely, we say to ourselves, this is a criminal of some sorts, even before we know the particulars of his career. It should then come as no surprise to you when I reveal that this notorious character is a serial offender. He has committed not one, not two, but twelve grisly crime novels set in historical Rome.

Steven Saylor's main character, his "hero", is Gordianus the Finder, a proto-detective who solves crimes in the age of Sulla, Cicero and Ceasar. I say "hero" lest you should think that having a crime fighter as protagonist turns the Roma Sub Rosa novels into some sort of noble venture. This is a common trick among peddlers of filth. Steven Saylor's purpose is not to attack crime, but to titillate his impressionable readers with stories of hatred, passion and intrigue in the upper circles of Roman society. This may seem an innocent passtime, but we walk away from it diminished in our souls.

I read Saylor's first novel in this series, Roman Blood, not knowing what to expect. I was shocked to learn that it builds its entire plot on the murder of an old man! And that's just the beginning! Sexual depravity, abuse of power - nothing seems beneath the imagination of Steven Saylor. I reluctantly moved on to the next novel, Arms of Nemesis, to see if perhaps he had seen the errors of his ways, and taken the series in a more uplifting direction. He most certainly had not! More of the same, in full historical detail, this time in the context of the Spartacus rebellion. Perhaps, I thought, by the third novel, Catilina's Riddle, Saylor had tired of depravity. Surely the Catiline conspiracy would inspire political reflection, not yet more yarns of murder and intrigue. Again I was disappointed - no, shocked! enraged! - and then once more with The Venus Throw. I retain hardly any hope at all about Murder on the Appian Way.

Steven Saylor is the worst kind of criminal. Not for him the momentary hot-blooded outburst of writing, the youthful excess followed by regret and maturity. We could forgive that. No, with cool deliberation he has made a career out of his crimes, sending yet more buckets of filth out into the world every one or two years.

Even now, some of you are not convinced. Perhaps Saylor's purpose is to expose evil, so that we can better ourselves by shunning it. How naive you are! But very well, if it is more evidence you want, I will give it to you, and then let all your doubts be extinguished. Look at Saylor's treatment of Cicero, one of the pillars of our intellectual history. Philosophical giant. Beloved mentor of centuries of schoolchildren. And yet in the Roma Sub Rosa series, Cicero is painted as a master manipulator, untrustworthy and pompous, with no more scruples than a common politician.

Several of the novels end with lengthy quotes from Cicero's speeches. A sign of respect, one might think - and yet the context of the novels undermine them so much that they take on a ridiculous quality, almost begging to be parodied. Is it not enough that this deviant has stolen all his plot ideas from Cicero, must he also drag the old master himself into the mud? Steven Saylor, how dare you!

Some of you will say: Yes, Steven Saylor has committed crime novels, and this is wrong, but there are far worse out there. This is true. In this our age of decadence, an entire industry has grown up among serial authors who compete in writing the most sensational and violent and depraved novels of crime. Steven Saylor's output is relatively tame. But is not his crime made worse by his being such a damn enjoyable writer? And doesn't his attention to historical detail give his novels a veneer of educational respectability that makes them far more dangerous than regular pulp fare?

In a moment, you will hear from the defense. I doubt they will have the gall to deny that these novels are lurid and dangerous. Any half-wit can see that they were written by a depraved criminal. Perhaps their defense will be that Steven Saylor did not write these novels at all. And yet his name is right there on the cover! Will they deny that he boasts about his crimes on his very own personal website? Will they deny that he has done meticulous research into the period these novels are set in? What a strange thing to do, unless he was gathering material for his books.

No, Steven Saylor is guilty. You know it, I know it, even he must know it, in the deepest recess of his wicked heart. I can only think of one punishment that is appropriate for this life of crime: We must buy these novels off the market, so that they do not reach and corrupt the mind of our young and innocent. Buy as many as you can. And if, before your burn them, you happen to read a few pages, maybe all of them, I commend your courage - the more you know about these novels, the better you'll be able to warn your friends against them.

Bjørn Stærk, 2008


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